How to Be Happy Alone: 11 Simple Tips for Living a Positive and Fulfilling Life

How to Be Happy Alone: 11 Simple Tips for Living a Positive and Fulfilling Life

Are you looking for ways to make the most of being single? Have you been feeling down lately when comparing yourself to others?

On any given day, it seems that being in a committed relationship is the key to happiness. As soon as you wake, a beautiful family pops up on your typical social media outlets. Your work colleagues share stories that include phrases such as “my wife” or “my husband” in passing. On the way home from work, a friend reaches out to you to ask if you’re dating anyone yet. You flip on your favorite show and a beautiful family appears. And, there you are, feeling behind and not enough due to a negative association with being single.

Does a rosy, committed relationship sound idyllic? Absolutely. Is it the only way to find happiness? Absolutely not! Can we make the most of our time alone and focus on what we can control in the meantime? One-hundred percent yes!

The truth is, it is possible to create a cozy life, despite one’s external environment (which includes relationships). Committed relationships don’t automatically equate to fulfillment. Typical challenges don’t magically melt away in a relationship. Relationships are not the sole creators of peace, happiness, and fulfillment.

Think about it. When you were proud of yourself, what were you doing? How were you feeling? What was your environment like? What led to that moment? For many of us, our happiest state is when happiness radiated from within. Perhaps you graduated from a university that was meaningful for you. Or, you conquered a goal that seemed unachievable at the time. Or, it could have been as simple as enjoying your favorite pastime. 

While other people can serve as a mood booster, our happiness is usually a direct result of our own thoughts.

Want to know the real secret to what makes a happy and positive life?

The relationship with ourselves.

Whether you’re alone by choice or circumstance, we’ve collected practical techniques to make you feel more confident and comfortable with your life. When something isn’t going as planned, one of the best things we can do is to remain busy and productive. The ideas below will allow you to become the best version of yourself…no matter who is around.

11 TIPS TO BE HAPPY AND POSITIVE ALONE

1. Move your body doing something you love.

Does getting in the best shape of your life sound exciting to you? What exercise gets you into the zone? What doesn’t feel like “working out?” Channel your inner David Goggins and push your body to its limits by learning what you’re made out of.  

If it’s been a while, try tiptoeing into your new routine in the comfort of your own community. Jog around the neighborhood with your favorite tunes or inspirational podcast in hand. Go for a bike ride within a beautiful winding park in a nearby neighborhood. Fire up a body-weight YouTube video or app in the comfort of your own home.

If you’re looking for a bit more of a challenge among like-minded people, complete an exercise activity. You won’t find a more welcoming bunch than a local exercise group! Conquer a personal record (PR) and push yourself in a lively cross-fit class. Discover your inner Zen at a Vinyasa Yoga Class. Get your heart rate up at a rockin’ spin class. Whatever it is, take a moment to be grateful for the opportunity to move your body.

2. Stop making comparisons.

Have you ever felt better about yourself after scrolling Instagram? Me neither.

Having instant access to a wealth of information about ideas, health, and current events has resolved a lot of mysteries. Yet, it also has created a lot of problems which include having a constant reminder of a “better” life from people in our inner and outer circles. In fact, social media convinces us that we are not enough across almost all categories.

Similar to the food in our diets, we’re only as healthy as the information we digest. It’s time to start unfollowing people who make you feel unworthy and not enough. Subscribe to education and resources that inspire you to become a better version of yourself. Instead of reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up to view a better life, look up to the sky in your backyard and list one thing you’re grateful for. Just like you would cut out any toxic person from your life, you need to cut out content that doesn’t amplify the rest of your day.

3. Focus your idle time on something meaningful.

When it comes to free personal time, most people spend it perusing social media, watching T.V., or knocking out their weekly to-do lists. While we all need to recharge once in a while and complete an array of errands, it’s important to not lose sight of the bigger picture of why we’re here. Without distractions or people to influence your decisions, now is the perfect time to create a meaningful goal with intense laser focus.

Take a moment to reflect. If you made yourself proud five years from now, what would you have done? What knowledge would you possess? Where would you be? What did you accomplish? What did you give to others?

It’s time to head to your favorite coffee shop for their finest latte and get lost in a quest that makes you feel energized. It’s no easy feat, but it’s one of the most important things you can do in your life. 

What do you love learning about? What do you want to give back to the world? What is your biggest strength that could help others? Whether it’s gaining continued education, becoming debt-free, creating a list of bucket list quests, or becoming a master chef or baker, figure out what fills your heart with joy. Who knows, the entire trajectory of your life can change from this single decision alone!

Are you feeling stuck on how to start your journey? Not to fret- check out the ideas listed below:

Read an entire “Best Books of All Time” list. Review or create a scrapbook. Teach someone one of your skills. Learn a new habit or skill. Write a memoir or short story.  Plan a series of wild weekend activities that give you an adrenaline rush. Sign up for a continuing education course. Write down meaningful dates. Plan a wild bucket list adventure. Visit 5 new restaurants, parks, or places within the next month. Take time for simple pleasures. Do something out of your comfort zone. Create an inspiring morning routine. Learn about a subject you know nothing about. Start completing activities you enjoyed as a child. Start a passion project. Create a new annual tradition. Plan an epic upcoming holiday.

If you want extra support on this journey, check out the Meaningful Life 30-Day Challenge. 

4. Plan the trip of your dreams.

You don’t need to wait for a committed relationship in order to launch an epic adventure. Get in touch with long-lost friends and plan a trip together. Visit that wellness spa or meditation retreat you’ve been dreaming about for years. Get involved in a volunteer trip for something you’re passionate about, such as an orphanage or animal shelter.

And if any of those won’t cure your travel bug, there are a lot of tours set up for people who are also looking for a bit of structure and a group of people to travel with, such as Contiki Tours.

Go light a candle, make a pot of tea, and watch your dreams soar as you add new fulfilling experiences to your next itinerary.

5. Build a local support system.

Researchers have proven that social connections can lead to happiness; however, that is more so referring to an overall support network as opposed to a single, committed relationship. If you’re feeling lonely, it’s time to boost up your local support network. In short, go out of your way to make some friends!

It’s time to be on the lookout for individuals who can help you become a better version of yourself.  It can be hard to come across these individuals as you grow older. Yet, one trick is to immerse yourself in activities that allow you to run into like-minded individuals consistently.

Sign up for a weekend or evening class at a local college or gym. Volunteer with a community center, charitable group, or museum. Join a social circle such as a book club. Go out of your way to do a favor for someone else. In other words, put yourself out there. What you give, you’ll get back.

6. Create a gratitude journal.

Did you know that expressing gratitude can boost natural dopamine and serotonin levels? Gratitude journals make us realize how important it is to reflect on all the happenings that are going well instead of dwelling on what has gone wrong. Spending a few minutes per day to acknowledge and reflect on positive aspects of life can impact our well-being. Here are some of our favorite journals:

• Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal
• The Happiness Project One-Sentence Journal
• The One-Minute Gratitude Journal

7. Practice flow-inducing hobbies.

If you’ve found yourself longing for a way to be more productive lately, try a flow-inducing activity. Flow activities have the perfect balance between challenging and rewarding. The term flow has been around for years due to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s work. Whether it’s mastering a master-level-yoga stance, beautifying your backyard, testing your kite-surfing abilities, or getting lost in a craft adventure, it’s time to give into your creative side. What activities are a part of a broader goal or mission for you that make you lose track of time?

Some of our favorite flow activities are located in this article, 10 Flow State Activities to Feel More Focused.

8. Immerse yourself in positivity.

There are few things we can control in our lives, but one we can is the environment we immerse ourselves in. Who do you talk to? What do you watch? What do you read? What do you say to others? What do you say to yourself? The habits that we practice and adopt can change the way we view our lives.

Sadly there is so much negativity in the world from when we wake up until we go to bed. No one will turn this off for us – we have to take the reins of our lives to protect our well-being.

Embracing a positive mindset doesn’t mean that we ignore our current reality. According to positive psychology experts, positive thinking means “approaching life’s challenges with a positive outlook. It does not necessarily mean avoiding or ignoring the bad things; instead, it involves making the most of the potentially bad situations, trying to see the best in other people, and viewing yourself and your abilities in a positive light.”

Those that practice and sustain positive thinking make a CHOICE to conquer their days in a way that makes life more enjoyable. When we wake up and make a conscious effort to have control over our mindset, we end up in a better state of mind for the rest of the day. The things that might set us off normally, fall by the wayside. 

Need a little help getting started?! Check out this viral 30 day positivity challenge.

9. Imagine your life as a blank slate.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to pursue a different career or live in a different city? Have you dreamt of a different version of your life already? It’s time to turn those dreams into goals. In fact, make it your biggest goal yet! James Clear describes goal setting as “not only about choosing the rewards you want to enjoy, but also the costs you are willing to pay.” Why is it important to get serious about goal-setting? Well, goal setting is directly linked to satisfaction in life.

Get out a blank sheet of paper and create one of the most important lists you’ve ever worked on in your life. Make sections such as “what things do you want to more of?” or “what do you want to stop doing?” Another favorite is “what are your long-term goals…and what do you need to do one year from now to work towards that? Whether you’re changing your lifestyle, job, free time, or mindset…you’ll have a new structure that you’ll look forward to every morning.

Check out 10 Major Goal-Setting Mistakes and What to Do Instead for how to avoid typical goal-setting mistakes, and what to do instead to ensure this is the best year of your life.

10. Indulge in simple pleasures.

While most materialistic purchases are fleeting, there’s something to be said about joyful simple pleasures. We’re not suggesting it’s a good idea to buy a brand-new Porsche to self-soothe a void. However, if a certain activity, restaurant, or product will brighten your day, go for it. For example, I’ve been eyeing a costly self-improvement book for months but just couldn’t justify the price. Last week, I saw the book was finally on sale and bought it instantly! Every time I fill out a journal entry, it feels like a special escape….just as I longed for. Check out this list of low-cost yet high-reward purchases:

• “Real Simple” Magazine shares inspirational hacks and simple pleasures. Get 12 Issues of Real Simple for $5 On Amazon
• This Old-Fashioned Recipe Box stores recipes from beloveds. Buy Recipe Box on Amazon ($14)
• This seed packet is perfect for starting a mini-garden  Get a Variety Seed Variety Pack on Amazon ($14)

11. Create a Refreshing Morning Routine

It is essential to do something in the morning that gives you a jolt of energy. Whether it is hot lemon water, celery juice, a fresh breakfast, taking a bath, or practicing a little self-care, find something that you love and stick with it. Every morning, I use a refreshing & citrusy face wash which reminds me to appreciate little moments throughout the day. I’m loving a kale & spinach superfood cleanser lately – it wakes you up!

Next Steps

Well, there you have it! You now have all the inspiration you need to create a lifestyle that you love, no matter who’s around. Although you may feel like you’re missing out on a partner right now, it’s not the end of the world just because you’re single. It’s a perfect time to reflect on your goals, interests, and aspirations while you have limited distractions.

Here are a few other articles that can help you add meaning to your life:

• 30-Day Meaningful Life Challenge
• 37 Meaningful Experiences to Add To Your Pacific Northwest Bucket List
• 30-Day Positivity Challenge – Master Healthier Habits in 30 Days
• 6 Tips to Instantly Boost Your Positive Thinking
• 9 Purchases That Bring You, Joy, During Quarantine
• Quick Guide: All You Need for Goal Planning This Year
• 25 Questions That Can Change Your Life