17 Ways to Build Meaningful Friendships

Stay with the ones who make you feel good. Who give you energy and give you hope. The ones without drama or poison in their lives. The ones that start positive conversations and exit negative ones. The ones who would rather dream with you than gossip with you. These are the people who are going places. These are the people you want by your side. Cara Leyba

17 TIPS FOR HAVING MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS

There are few things in life that are as pure as deep friendships. Yet, as we progress throughout our adult years, general responsibilities coupled with daily stresses get in the way of us investing time in friendships. To make matters worse, it becomes increasingly difficult to form new friendships based off of common interests due to lack of opportunities.

While COVID continues to separate us physically, it’s time to take back the reigns. We still have the power to refresh our existing friendships and form new friendships virtually. We deserve bonds that allow us to learn, explore, and grow together. You’ll find 17 tips below that can help you jumpstart the process of forming meaningful friendships as early as tomorrow!

Reflect upon a challenging experience that you have overcome in your life.

What are you proud of yourself now? What strategies and techniques did you use to overcome the challenge? Once you decide, share those tools with those that are going through that same experience right now. 

Connect with them virtually and share your courage and life lessons with those that haven’t figured it out yet.

Give back unconditionally. 

In the psychology behind unconditional love unconditional love is compared to loving a tree. You don’t look at a tree expecting it to change, and the same should be for humans. 

Once we build up humans to what they should say or do, we set ourselves up for failure as we can’t control actions of others. Relatedly, support others without expectations. 

Whether it is a smile, compliment, or a helping hand, refrain from fixating on what they should do for you in return. The shared moment is enough. 

Whenever you brighten someone else’s day, it has a way of brightening yours.

Insert light into conversations where there is darkness. 

If people share harsh viewpoints or judgments, share a light-hearted perspective instead. Remember, the right people will look up to you and respect you for doing this (even if they don’t in the moment). 

You have the ability to serve as a positive influence in your network. 

Need a little inspiration? Read our “6 Tips to Instantly Boost Positive Thinking” Guide.

When it comes to relationships it’s quality, not quantity. 

When is the last time you conducted an inventory of your friendships? Have you held on to people who don’t make you feel good? 

In reality, it is better to have one really close friend that you can confide in who refrains from judgment and grows with you…versus 5 friends that you can’t be yourself with. 

Ensure you’re investing in relationships that allow you to blossom. 

The most beautiful relationships are those that allow both people to become the best versions of themselves. 

Emulate the energy of the most giving person that you know. 

Whose energy do you envy? Did they write letters? Did they add child-like wonderment to every activity? Did they transform flea market rubble into beautiful art? 

Whatever it is, incorporate one of their endearing habits tomorrow morning to give you a jolt of motivation.

Find a mentor. 

Everyone loves being asked for advice, especially if it is tailored to their hobbies, passions, or expertise. 

Schedule regular check-ins with someone who you admire who has shown interest in your life or has championed you in some way. Then, implement their advice. 

No one likes to waste their time counseling someone who doesn’t follow through. Take advice graciously, apply it efficiently, and aim to offer a good return on investment. 

Become a mentor. 

Make it a mission to believe in others, so they believe in themselves. You may surprise yourself and learn just as much as your mentee. 

If no one comes to mind, there are many individuals within virtual social media platforms that crave inspirational advice. 

Some examples are: Tony Robbins Facebook Group, Vegetarian & Vegan Facebook Group, Add to Bucketlist, Facebook Group, & Jack Canfield’s Impact & Influence Facebook Community. 

If none of those interest you, MAKE YOUR OWN! I created Positivity Pledge to build a positive support system as well (by the way – please join!).

Exude vulnerability. 

To put it simply, decide what is true for you and communicate it to others daily. 

In 2010, Brene Brown gave an evocative speech related to vulnerability. 

Her research shows that people who are brave enough to reveal their vulnerabilities are happier in life and make stronger emotional connections. It’s important to note that this will only work if your friendships have psychological safety, which can be described as a feeling in which “people feel comfortable being themselves and expressing themselves without the fear of retribution.” 

If this isn’t the case and they aren’t willing to build this climate with you, cut them loose.

Anticipate when others need help and offer it. 

Consistently make it easy for your network to accept help. For example, don’t wait for people to ask or say things like, “Do you need me to help you do the dishes?” 

Instead, say “I want to help – do you want me to load or dry the dishes? The smile you’ll get in return is so worth it.

Deposit love for your current tribe members. 

Pick up the phone right now! Give those you love, some encouragement. Do you feel guilty about how you’ve treated someone lately? 

Have you become a version of yourself with a particular person that you regret? Do you constantly nitpick and allow non-important things to impact your mood with those that make your life better? 

Make a step in the right direction today by giving back to someone who you miss.

 And if they don’t reciprocate, move along and focus on someone else that DOES!

Initiate traditions with people that matter to you. 

Traditions are a simple way to enjoy the moment and can inspire others for years to come. 

The choice is yours – you can sustain old traditions and/or create new traditions. What are your favorite sayings? What are your favorite hobbies? What do you do over and over again with others that has your “name on it?” 

If you can’t think of anything, start one today.

Make an effort to build new tribe members on a consistent basis. 

It is important to consistently expand your in-person and virtual networks for your own satisfaction. Imagine that you just moved to a new location and you need to meet new people. 

How would you gain a new support network? What attributes would you look for? Perhaps a giving nature, a positive approach, or an affinity for crafts? 

Insert yourself into a positive environment such as a new gym, library, or support group! 

Compliment people on something that inspires you, you never know what will happen next! 

Leave this world better than you found it. 

Make daily strides towards an idea so big that if it comes true, it would make a meaningful impact to others. Envision a mission you can own that is greater than yourself. 
 
What could you donate? How could you give back your time doing something that you love? What could you lead for your community? In short, what is your legacy? 
 
Once you become aware of your natural talents, decide how you can expand them to a greater audience. If you like scrapbooking, could you open up a table at a local flea market? 
 
If you felt emotionally lost at a hospital when you lost someone, could you volunteer at one to help others? If you have written beautiful evocative cards to people when they need it most, could you create a blog?

Refrain from Passing Judgment. 

When conflicts arise, open your heart to fully listening and initiate a conversation to further discuss. Instead, seek to understand when people act a certain way that you don’t agree with. 

Ask them why they have certain opinions and interests…and make sure to open your heart fully. 

Besides learning something new, you may end up being closer due to the way you handled different opinions.

Enhance Your Active Listening Skills. 

If someone is sharing a story or challenge with you, make an intentional effort to focus the conversation on THEM. 

More often than not, we tend to talk about our own lives as a way to relate to others in conversation. 

While it may seem empathetic at the time, it can completely derail a conversation in seconds as the attention is now focused on you versus the other person. 

Next time you’re in a conversation with one of your loved ones, test your skills. Ask paraphrasing and clarifying questions. Ask them how they felt about the situation. 

Refrain from inserting yourself in the conversation. 

Who knows, after some practice, you may even get labeled as a “great listener!”

Keep mutual interests top of mind and connect as many people as you can. 

Think of someone that has introduced you to someone who provided free advice or help due to a connection. 

There is something about a joint friend that sparks how grateful we are for people that we cherish. 

Not only should we regularly connect with people based off of common interests, we should also connect as many people as we can.

Be good to YOURSELF. 

In the words of the evocative Maya Angelou, “If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to by good to me?” 

You must have unconditional love for yourself in order to provide it to others. When people feel good, they do good. Try a few self care strategies to rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. Mark Twain