5 Creative Ways to Honor The Memory of a Loved One

Those we love never truly leave us. There are things that death cannot touch. – John Thorne

Aim of This Memorial Guide

I hope you are inspired to commemorate the soul you lost and have something poignant and meaningful to remember them by for years to come.

The Reality Is….

A loved one’s death creates an irreplaceable missing puzzle piece which can make us feel downright powerless. Even though the pain rarely subsides, commemorating a life can provide pure solace. When grief and honor is transformed into action, it can inspire others to cope in that manner as well.

If you’re willing and able to commemorate your loved one at this time, try a creative idea listed below that sparks your interest:

Continue a tradition they created [If you can’t think of one, initiate a new event they would have liked].

When a loved one passes, their traditions usually fall by the wayside unless someone purposely assumes a leadership role. You may hear things from those they left behind, such as, “It’s just not the same.” Furthermore, it may even seem painful to sustain traditions without them.  

Although you’ll have sticker shock for a while, the reality is, it is a win if you can muster up the courage to sustain a tradition they created OR plan an event they wholeheartedly enjoyed.

• Sustain a tradition [and invite others to tag along] that they adored based on their personality, hobbies, and passions. What was important to them that you did with them? Did they love to go to a certain sports event? Make it a tradition to go to one each year in their honor. Did they give out something on a particular holiday? Next time it comes around, share that gift and put your own spin on it.
• Plan a day to celebrate their legacy [such as their birthday or death anniversary]. Make it personal, meaningful, and fun.
  • Listen to a song that reminds you of them while you make their favorite meal.
  • Run a 5K in a location they spent a lot of time in.
  • Enter a chili making contest each year based off of their love for BBQ. 
• Devote time to a cause they were passionate about. Where did they volunteer? How did they bring others joy?
• Finish an activity that they left unfinished. What place did they want to go to that they didn’t have time to complete? What legacy were they working on that is incomplete?

Allow their death to change your attitude.

When we are reminded of death, most insignificant annoyances fade away. Think about it – when your loved one passed away, did you harbor resentment and irritation about how they wronged you 5 years ago? Or did you cling to the beautiful memories they left you? Hopefully, you focused on how they made your life better and how you, perhaps, even miss the little quirks that drove you bonkers.

Moving forward, think of how your life could be more enjoyable if you incorporated that mentality into your life with those still in your life. If we know that is what you end up caring about in the end, shouldn’t we act like that all the time? That’s right – put on those rose-colored glasses and appreciate people more.

 How can you let death make you a better person?

• Take a deep breath and pause when people frustrate you; think before you react. Most people treat others how they feel about themselves. So, no matter what, be proud of how you treat others during the good times and the bad. Someone’s death can truly help you have a new level of awareness of the person you want to be, despite external factors.
• Think of the qualities your loved one had that you want to possess. Figure out how to incorporate that into your daily routine. Were they a mentor? Did they help people learn? Did they devote their time? Did they have a love for cooking? Whatever it is, share their gift with others and continue their legacy. 
• What hobbies did your loved one have that you want to copy? Did they have a garden every year? Did they share meals with neighbors? Did they volunteer at a school?
• Read books that changed their life, so you can change yours. Feeling really motivated? Start a book club with close family or friends so they can benefit from the activity, too.

Life is short – focus on your own bucket list. 

      Focus on the things you want to accomplish. Although your loved one cannot complete the activities with you directly, you can complete them together in spirit. It’s true – reflecting upon our own death can truly motivate us to live a vivacious life.

• Complete an action your loved one didn’t have time to do, but wanted to.
• Start a scholarship in their honor.
• Go to their favorite vacation spot and make an itinerary based off of activities they would have done there.
• Complete the classic Eulogy Exercise. When you hear eulogies, you can’t help but think of what people might say about you one day. If you don’t like what they would say, you have time to change it. In sum, what legacy will you leave behind? 
• Commit an act of kindness in their honor. Pay for a coffee in the Starbucks line. Deliver a hand-written note to your elderly neighbor. For life-changing ideas, check out this post from Positive Psychology –> Acts of Kindness That Will Make You Cry.

Create something beautiful to remember them by.

Normally I wouldn’t promote  tangible items; however, in this case, YES!!! It is gratifying to hold on to something they once held on to. In addition, seeing something that reminds you of someone special has the power to hold you accountable to living a purposeful life. What skill do you have? What can you make to honor their memory? What would they be proud of you for?

• Make a memorial meme about them and watch the sparks fly! The theme is yours to choose – it could be funny or evocative. Not only are you honoring them, but once you share it on social media, you can look forward to your network posting stories about them that you never knew about! 
• Create a playlist that includes all their favorite songs.
• Take a pottery class and make something beautiful in their honor. The possibilities are endless. Make a dish to display their favorite meal. Make a vase to hold their favorite flower.
• Write a tribute about your loved one. Write a short story including when you first met in addition to your favorite moments with them. Make sure to include lots of pictures that illustrate major moments.
• Display something in the house that was once theirs or something they gave to you. If nothing comes to mind, get creative! Frame a handwritten recipe, coordinate a photo collage that gives you joy, or create a themed room with their favorite “thing.”
• Give a gift to people who knew them, such as a book of their favorite recipes. Make sure to sprinkle in their quotable mantras.
• Dedicate a bench in a park in their honor with their favorite saying. Make sure to have a ribbon-cutting ceremony!
• Get a tattoo using their own handwriting.
• Create a keepsake for yourself and for others that highlight hilarious memories about them; make sure to include quotes & pictures galore. There are probably many options; however, I always use Shutterfly because it is a super user-friendly website, they have a lot of modern gifts, and have 40% off coupons all the time.
• Host a dinner party with their favorite food and music. 
• Plant a huge willow tree in your backyard in their honor.
• Create a one-pager memory collage – find your favorite pictures of them and write down mantras about them like: Glue of the Family, Heart of Gold Host, 70’s Music Man, Life of Every Party, etc.
• Design a memory book they would have loved. Ask a group of people the same questions and decorate the book with pictures. Use quotes from your loved one as if they helped you make it. Then, go to a local printer store to print mass copies. Once distributed, turn on their favorite soundtrack as you read the responses out loud together. Make your loved ones proud that you went above and beyond to create memories. Laughter and gratitude are always the best gifts. 
  • • List your favorite holiday memory?
    • Favorite moment you have experienced in your life thus far?
    • Who is your hero and why?
    • What is the most embarrassing moment you’ve ever had?
    • If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
    • If you were a ruler of your own country, what would it be called?
    • If you had to listen to a song on repeat, what would it be?
    • What is your favorite quote?

Pursue a meaningful quest to make them proud.

Long-term quests are a great way to honor your loved one and keep them close to your heart for years to come. For more information on meaningful quests, read the Happiness of Pursuit book by best-selling author Chris Guillebeau. 

• Go to their alma mater in their honor. 
• Run a half-marathon or marathon in their honor.
• Make a donation to a relevant charity in their honor. 

Wherever a beautiful soul has been there is a trail of beautiful memories. – Ronald Reagan

We want to hear from you – how have you honored your loved one’s memory? Share below to inspire others!